The Horrible Pyramid — 10 of 15

Section - Burial Chamber

[In the original version, the game ended immediately when you entered the burial chamber, but that's because I ran out of time. You should be able to mess around in the burial chamber for a while first. And now you are.

The original text for when you entered was:

The sarcophagus is open, and your god-king-groom-wizard-master is within. His eye sockets glint like empty wells as you approach, and he smiles with his tiny chipped stumps of teeth.[paragraph break]You are so glad you've found him, and I am thrilled, I am beyond thrilled, I weep nonexistent eternal tears of invisible joy to know that you have finally found me, the omnipotent and undying Pharaoh Apepsikret, and you are weeping as well, because now you and I will be dead together forever as mummy husband and mummy wife, here in the depths of the Horrible Pyramid.

Every turn while in Burial Chamber:

end the game saying "The End".]

Burial Chamber is a room. "You are in heaven, which is a tiny square-shaped room inside of a much larger triangle-shaped thing made out of rocks, and all of your senses are spasming and gibbering with bliss."

The sarcophagus is in burial chamber. Understand "coffin" and "casket" as the sarcophagus.

Instead of taking the sarcophagus, say "Even if your silly human body could lift it, there would be nowhere else to put it. Think about it. No, let Apepsikret think about it."

Rule for writing a paragraph about the sarcophagus:

say "The sarcophagus is open, and your god-king-groom-master-wizard is within."

Instead of examining the sarcophagus, say "Apepsikret ordered that a pyramid be constructed in an obscure reach of the cursed desert, and it was done; Apepsikret ordered that flawlessly sexy statues of him and his unborn wife be carved and installed in that tomb by blind eunuchs, and it was done; Apepsikret ordered that a sarcophagus wide enough to be shared by him and his unborn wife be crafted from the bones of the aforementioned eunuchs, and it was done."

Instead of searching the sarcophagus, say "Apepsikret rests in the sarcophagus, waiting."

The pharaoh mummy corpse wizard god king master body husband Apepsikret is a man. Apepsikret is in the sarcophagus. The printed name of Apepsikret is "Apepsikret".

Instead of kissing Apepsikret, say "You mouth up passionately on your husband's mouth, eager to suckle at his omnipotence like the endless fountain of magical energy that he is, but Apepsikret is unresponsive, because his earthly muscles stopped working shortly after he was ritually murdered in 2184 BC."

Instead of giving something to Apepsikret, say "You own [the noun], and via the transitive property so too does Apepsikret own [the noun]."

Instead of showing something to Apepsikret, say "Apepsikret smiles upon [the noun] with his tiny motionless triangle stumps of teeth."

Instead of waking Apepsikret, say "Such matters are of no relevance to corpses."

Instead of attacking Apepsikret, say "Impossible. There is only love in your heart, which is also Apepsikret's heart, which you love with all your heart."

Instead of telling Apepsikret about something, say "Apepsikret nods politely and motionlessly."

Instead of asking Apepsikret about something, say "Apepsikret explains the issue in complete and perfect detail."

Instead of taking Apepsikret, say "But he is already right where you belong."

Understand "skin" and "finger" and "fingers" and "hands" and "bandage" and "bandages" as Apepsikret.

The description of Apepsikret is "He is gorgeous. His black vegetable skin is gorgeous; his ragged and stained bandages are gorgeous; his tiny, withered fingers, like desiccated worms sticking out of his overcooked hands, are just adorable. You could just eat him up, except actually it is he who will eat you up, psychically, when your cosmic union is consummated."

Instead of entering the sarcophagus:

say "His eye sockets glint like empty wells as you climb into the casket, and he smiles with his tiny chipped stumps of teeth as you lie down beside him.[paragraph break]You are so glad you've found him, and I am thrilled, I am beyond thrilled, I weep nonexistent eternal tears of invisible joy to know that you have finally found me, the omnipotent and undying Pharaoh Apepsikret, and you are weeping as well, because now you and I will be dead together forever as mummy husband and mummy wife, here in the depths of the Horrible Pyramid.";

end the game saying "The End".