The Horrible Pyramid — 8 of 15

Section - Pharaoh's Statue

Pharaohstatue is a room. "[if prog is 0]This room is given over to a large statue of this tomb's tenant, the pharaoh-magician Apepsikret[otherwise if prog is 1]Here is a massive statue of that Apepsi guy[otherwise if prog is 2]A huge statue of Apepsikret is here and it looks pretty buff[otherwise if prog is 3]Here is that rock-solid statue of that rock-solid man-god-king-wizard Apepsikret, with abs like diamonds that you could cut diamonds on [italic type]if he deigned to permit diamonds to be cut upon it[roman type] all glory to Apepsikret[end if].[paragraph break]East: Graven Chamber. West: Antechamber.". Pharaohstatue is east of Antechamber. The printed name of Pharaohstatue is "Pharaoh's Statue Chamber".

The statue of the pharaoh is in Pharaohstatue.

Instead of examining the statue of the pharaoh:

say "[if prog is 0]Apepsekrit here looks like a well-proportioned and handsome individual, but of course any depiction of a pharaoh will portray its subject in a flattering light[otherwise if prog is 1]This Apepsekrit fellow was a good-looking god-king[otherwise if prog is 2]You are completely mesmerized by the majesty and abdominal muscles of god-wizard-king Apepsekrit[otherwise if prog is 3]This is definitely what your husband Apepsekrit looked like in life, and definitely continues to look like now, only more embalmed and deader[end if][if something is supported by the statue of the pharaoh].[paragraph break]The statue is holding [a list of things supported by the statue of the pharaoh][end if]."

Instead of taking the statue of the pharaoh, say "The statue is too [if prog is 0]fragile[otherwise if prog is 1]heavy[otherwise if prog is 2]precious[otherwise if prog is 3]perfect[end if] for you to carry it around."

Rule for writing a paragraph about the statue of the pharaoh:

say "The statue is holding [a list of things supported by the statue of the pharaoh]."

Instead of putting something on the statue of the pharaoh:

say "You can worry about that later."

The crook is on the statue of the pharaoh. Understand "hook" as the crook. The description of the crook is "[if prog is 0]The shepherd's crook is a long staff with a hook at one end, an insignia of the pharaoh for much of Egypt's ancient history[otherwise if prog is 1]It's a big stick with a hook on it[otherwise if prog is 2]A crook is a stick with a hook. Take a look. It's in a book[otherwise if prog is 3]You hook things with it, like sheep, or slaves. Apepsekrit won't mind that you've been using it; he's lovely that way[end if]."

[The applications of the crook will be covered in the Queen's statue chamber's section.]

The flail is on the statue of the pharaoh. The description of the flail is "[if prog is 0]The flail, along with the crook, symbolizes the pharaoh's power and connects him with Osiris[otherwise if prog is 1]It's a flail, such as you use to flail things with[otherwise if prog is 2]The significance of the flail is as useless to you as it is unimportant[otherwise if prog is 3]You do not need this flail, which is fine, because you don't need it[end if]."

Some abdominal muscles are part of the statue of the pharaoh. Understand "ab" and "abs" and "muscle" as the muscles. The description of the muscles is "[if prog is 0]They're all right, you suppose[otherwise if prog is 1]They are great abs[otherwise if prog is 1]They are fantastic abs. Fantastic[otherwise if prog is 3]Apepsikret always had the best abs. You recall all those hours you'd spend staring at them, the way you're staring at them right now, because you had nothing better to do, the way you have nothing better to do right now[end if]."