"Upon the Spooky House" by Ben Poisonor

Volume 1 - Preamble

[Greetings, fellow appreciator of the dark and black arts of spookmeistering! I, Ben Poisonor (Poisoner), will be your guide throughout your spine-tingling journey of this source code. As author of this source and game, I have provided for you only the most horrifying sights, sounds, and smells in this exploration of the spookiest, most scariest mansion in all text adventure-dom. Now, without further ado, let the dark feast of frights begin!]

Use American dialect. Use serial comma.

[Of course, having said all that, we need to get a few preliminary actions out of the way first. Nothing too long, you understand.]

The story headline is "A Ben Poisonor (Poisoner) Adventure".

[Just a few bits and bobs here and there, to get the game part running smoothly.]

The story genre is "Spooky House Game".

[I can assure you, this is all very important and in no way an attempt to procrastinate on writing the actual game.]

The story creation year is 2020.

[Yes, yes, quite important.]

The story description is "A new text game by the man whose very words are a contagion spreading excitement and entertainment to the masses, Upon Spooky House is a chilling tour-de-force containing only the finest frights, thrills, secrets, and chills. Feel free to scream at any time during the game."

[You see, I need to hype myself up in this description, else the player would have no idea how to react to this very spooky game I am making.]

Performing XYZZY is an action out of world. Understand "xyzzy" or "plover" or "plugh" as performing XYZZY.

[And of course, what would any text adventure be without the overdone XYZZY reference?]

Carry out performing XYZZY:
say "Oh, buzz off." instead.

['Twould nothing but a sham, says I.]

A thing has some text called the smell text. The smell text is usually "Smells okay, I guess".

[I believe all text adventures should strive to engage the senses, be they but text on a screen. I think Ryan Veeder does not like including smells in his games, though, because his own sense of smell is quite poor. I have indulged him by not doing much with it in this game.]

Instead of smelling something, say "[smell text]."

[An experienced author of text adventures will note the workaround for Inform's extremely finicky rules about printing paragraph breaks after outputting some text.]

A thing has some text called the sound text. The sound text is usually "Unearthly quiet, which frightens you half to death". Instead of listening to something, say "[sound text]."

[Hearing, I believe, is the most important sense for horror, for what is horror without the sound of screams? Most things don't really make noise, though, so I used my skills of a writer to make silence much more spooky.]

A thing has some text called handfeel. The handfeel is usually "To describe the feel of this fiendish object would chill you to the bone! Trust me on this". Instead of touching something, say "[handfeel]."

[Touch is also important to horror (see that party game where various foodstuffs are passed off as the body parts of some deceased malcontent). However,  objects' "handfeel" (as I have chosen to call it) are highly variable. Because of this, I have chosen a general yet very spooky way to describe any object, just in case I run out of time to write up the handfeel for everything (which, by now, is looking extremely likely).]

Nowheresville is a room.

[This little bit of trickery is necessary for esteablishing the player character, introduced in the next paragraph.]

Lucille is a woman. The description of Lucille is "You are a desperate yet passionate woman, determined to uncover the mystery of this horrible mansion, and thus, perhaps, discover the secret behind your amnesia."

[Enter our game's heroine, the lovely Lucille. Her name is inspired by Lucy Westenra from Bram Stroker's Dracula. Of course, Lucy sounds too pedestrian to my ears, so I changed it to the more aristocratic (IMHO) Lucille. You will note that this description does not describe much in the way of her physical appearance; I hold with the view that text adventure descriptions should focus on the inner life of a person, mainly because there's less junk you have to implement that way.

Note, too, the amnesia: Normally I would declare it a boring adventure game cliche, but given that I am a genius, I will allow it just this once.]

The sound text of Lucille is "Nothing to hear but the very beating of your heart". The smell text of Lucille is "You can't really smell yourself".

[Can anyone smell themselves?]

The handfeel of Lucille is "You clutch your hands together to compose yourself".

[Lucille used to be clutching her bosom here, but I changed it to something more appropriate. *Children* might be playing this game.]

Understand "Lucy" as Lucille.

[The next paragraph redoes the default parser response when the player tries to interact with something that is not actually there. I find the default "You can't see any such thing" to be unclear and unhelpful in most cases, so I rewrote it so I can be as lazy as possible.]

Rule for printing a parser error when the latest parser error is the can't see any such thing error:
say "That's either unimportant or un-here." instead.

[And now, after nearly a thousand words of setting things up, it is time for us to get on with it.]

Volume 2, Chapter 1 - Getting on with it

When play begins:
say "After dashing madly across the moor on your horse, Strikefire, you have finally reached the horrible mansion that has haunted your dreams ever since you woke up, memory-less, outside a Yorkshire tavern. You steel your steely eyes to its wooden spires, its stately yet sinister make, as you approach the horrid palace, this wrecthed unworldly house made from wood and steel and glass.[paragraph break]Reaching the porch, you dismount your horse, willing yourself to gain the courage to take the first step inside that foreboding doorway (the door itself was stolen away by a sneak-thief some ten years prior, you hear). It is no easy task, for the very timbers look like they've been design by the most diabolical fiends in Hades. It is all very frightening. You think a bat may have pooped here.[paragraph break]After some minutes of this, Strikefire speaks up. 'Well, I'm outta here. See ya in a jif.' He trots back to your home in Pickering, leaving you all alone...";
now Lucille is in the Porch;
now the player is Lucille.

[Every good game needs a good beginning, and I have to say, this is one of my best. I'm not sure what a moor is (I think it's a kind of meadow), but I do know that every good spooky house story is set next to one. I used my best spooky words to describe the house (although I had to use a thesaurus sometimes). I had the door stolen because I hate implementing doors in text adventures. I made the horse run away because I don't wanna implement a horse.

I don't know why I made the horse talk.]

Chapter 2 - The Porch

Porch is a room. The printed name of Porch is "Manor Porch". The description of the Porch is "A more terrifying front porch is impossible to conceive. A dilapidated bench sits next to the gaping doorway. The ruined entryway seems to beckon you inside, although that could just be because of its leftover hinges, creaking softly in the wind." Instead of listening to the Porch, say "Naught but the beating of your heart and the ruined doorway's creaking hinges can be heard." Instead of smelling the Porch, say "Smells musty."

[This porch  isn't really important, but I felt it was necessary to set up the atmosphere of the house. I implemented smelling and listening like that because for some reason the way I set it up earlier doesn't work. I think Inform treats rooms differently from regular objects (i.e., "something"). You can look forward to this method appearing throughout the source.]

An enterable supporter called a bench is in the Porch. The description is "An old bench made from rotting timbers. It's very worn out." The bench is scenery. Understand "dilapidated bench" or "worn bench" or "wood bench" or "wooden bench" or "old bench" or "old wooden bench" or "rotting bench" as the bench. The handfeel of the bench is "It feels rusty, despite being made out of wood". The smell text of the bench is "Smells moldy. Bleh". After entering the bench, say "The old bench creaks under your weight, but it holds." After getting off the bench, say "The bench creaks as you stand, as if its timbers were sighing from relief."

A doorway is scenery in the Porch. The description is "A gutted doorway leads inside to the house. The hinges still on it creak ever so faintly." The sound text of the doorway is "The creaking from the hinges is faintly ominous". Understand "hinges" or "hinge" as the doorway. Understand "entryway" as the doorway. Instead of entering the doorway, try going inside.

[The player, after the frightfest that is the game's opening, will want a milder, yet still spooky experience. These objects are set up to do just that. Don't ask me why I bothered to implement all those synonyms for the bench but not the doorway.]

A thing called bat poop is in the Porch. "Yep, there's some bat poop here all right." The description is "A big smelly pile of bat poop. You don't want to get too close to it." The smell text of the bat poop is "Smells smelly". The sound text of the bat poop is "Ehhh, you'd really rather not". The handfeel of the bat poop is "Ewww, you don't want to touch it". Instead of taking the bat poop, try touching the bat poop. Instead of searching the bat poop, try touching the bat poop. Understand "guano" or "bat crap" or "crap" as the bat poop.

[Some may wonder why I included this disgusting object. I would agree myself that it is in somewhat bad taste. My reasons are thus:
1. I felt like it.
2. To set up a character, which we'll learn more about in the next room.]

Instead of going nowhere from the Porch:
say "Your nerves have abandoned you at last. You flee the awful mansion across the moor, reaching your house in Pickering the next day. You and Strikefire share a morning brandy, planning your return to... the Spooky House!";
end the story saying "Your journey endeth... for now".

[I felt it necessary that there be a way to end the game early, just in case the player gets too scared to continue the game. I tried to set it up so that obviously ridiculous directions like up or down didn't work here, but struggling with Inform to make it work the way I wanted was too hard for me, so I gave up. It's fine, like, whatever. I'm pretty over it now.]

Chapter 3 - The First Floor

Inside from the Porch is Floor1. The printed name of Floor1 is "A Gutted Antechamber". The description of Floor1 is "This ruin of a room looks like it could have been quite grand once. Unfortunately, age and some malevolent force have wrecked its once tremondous grace. Walls have been torn down haphazardly, blocking passage to the other rooms on this floor, and cobwebs litter the ceiling. A winding, sinister stairway leads up to the mansion's second floor." Instead of listening to Floor1, say "Deathly quiet, except for the chittering of the bat near the stairway." Instead of smelling Floor1, say "Smells really musty."

[Here we are at the mansion's first floor. I admit that I cheaped out on this part, but only because the spookiness level of a house's first floor is so-so. Really, the second floor is a house's spookiest level, next to its basement and attic. So, more like second spookiest. Third. Whatever.]

A backdrop called the stairway is in Floor1 and Floor2. The description of the stairway is "It looks rickety and unstable, but it's not so damaged that you can't go down or up it, depending on where you are in the mansion." Understand "stairs" or "staircase" as the stairway. Instead of taking the stairway when Lucille is in Floor1, try going up. Instead of climbing the stairway when Lucille is in Floor1, try going up. Instead of taking the stairway when Lucille is in Floor2, try going down. Instead of climbing the stairway when Lucille is in Floor2, try going down.

[Ugh, implementing was such a hassle. I just really hate implementing doors and stairs and anything of that nature Let's just move on.]

Cobwebs are a backdrop. Cobwebs are in Floor1 and Floor2 and Penult. Understand "cobweb" or "spiderweb" or "spiderwebs" or "webs" or "web" as the cobwebs. The description of the cobwebs is "Lacy, if dingy, cobwebs. They honestly look kinda neat, if untidy." The handfeel of the cobwebs is "They feel pretty dusty".

[Every spooky house story needs cobwebs! It is one of the essential requirements of the genre.]

Winston is an animal in Floor1.  "[one of]A great big bat swoops down from the ceiling and flies right in front of your face![paragraph break]It lets out an unholy shriek! 'Whoooooa, it's Lucy! Man, it's been a while. Hey, you remember your old pal Winston?' Uh, well. [italic type]That[roman type] took a turn[or]Winston flaps about the ceiling amicably[stopping]." Understand "bat" or "great big bat" or "big bat" as Winston. The description of Winston is "Winston catches you looking at him and winks. 'Heya, Lucy!' he says." The handfeel of Winston is "Feels rather furry. Winston gives you the evil eye". Instead of taking Winston, try touching Winston. The sound text of Winston is "He's yakking and gabbing. Maybe you could ask him a question".

[I don't know where in my mind of spooktacular atrocities I came up with Winston. I was probably inspired by that absolute classic in the spooky house genre, Scary House Amulet.]

Instead of asking Winston about something, say "[one of]'Huh?'[run paragraph on][or]'Bwah?'[run paragraph on][or]'Erm?'[run paragraph on][purely at random] [one of]says[or]interjects[purely at random] Winston. '[one of]I didn't quite get that[or]I don't catch your meaning[or]You ain't making much sense right now[or]I don't understand[at random], Lucy.' You should try asking something else.[paragraph break]"

Instead of asking Winston about a topic listed in the Table of Winston Topics:
say "[reply entry][paragraph break]".

Instead of telling Winston about something: try asking the noun about it.

Understand "big guy" or "main guy" as "[guy]". Understand "head honcho" as "[honcho]". Understand "big boss" as "[boss]". Understand "main man" or "big man" as "[man]".

Table of Winston Topics
topic	reply
"Winston/bat/himself"	"'Wait, do you really not remember me? Man, the big guy must've pulled a fast one on you.' He frowns."
"Lucy/Lucille/me"	"'C'mon, Lucy, don'cha remember your own name?' Winston pauses. 'Well, I guess you prefer to go by Lucille,' he adds."
"house/mansion/manor"	"'It's all property of the big guy, Lucy,' says Winston. 'The main man. The big boss. The main guy. The big man! The head honcho.' He just goes [italic type]on[roman type] like this."
"memory/memories/amnesia"	"'I've heard of the boss pulling stunts like this, but never on [italic type]you[roman type], Lucy,' Winston replies."
"[guy]" or "[man]" or "[honcho]" or "boss/dracula/honcho" or "[boss]"	"'You know,' says Winston, 'the guy!' That is [italic type]extremely[roman type] unhelpful."


Chapter 4 - The Second Floor

Up from Floor1 is Floor2. The printed name of Floor2 is "Decrepit Hallway". The description of Floor2 is "Cobwebs clutter this hallway, just like they clutter your mind. The floor seems to twist and turn by no geometry you are familiar with. Through ways unfamiliar and unflattering it leads to a room to the north. A creaky stairway leads back down to the antechamber." Instead of smelling Floor2, say "Smells really musty." Instead of listening to Floor2, say "Unearthly quiet."

Chapter 5 - The Penultimate Room

North from Floor2 is Penult. The printed name of Penult is "Abandoned Bedroom". The description of Penult is "Why does this bedroom feel so familiar to you? It's so strange. Even the cobwebs here feel like... home. It's a dizzying effect that nearly makes you dash back south to the hallway." Instead of smelling Penult, say "Smells really, really musty."

A set of drawers is a closed openable container in Penult. "A beat-up set of drawers sits here. It's only got one... well, drawer left in it." Understand "drawer" as the set of drawers.

Inside the set of drawers is a wooden stake.  The description of the wooden stake is "[one of]It seems so familiar... It's almost like...[paragraph break]Yes. You remember now. You know what you must do. You take it in your hands[determined][or]A wooden stake. You will need it[stopping]." The handfeel of the wooden stake is "Feels trusty, like an old friend". The sound text of the wooden stake is "A nice, quiet silence". Instead of taking the stake, try examining the stake.

To say determined:
now Lucille carries the stake;
change the up exit of the Penult to the Attic;
change the down exit of the Attic to Penult;
now the description of Penult is "It's your old bedroom. Funny how quaint it looks now. Up from here is the old attic, where you-know-who lives. You can go south to the hallway if you want, but we both know it's the attic you're after.";
now the description of Lucille is "You're determined to get the job done.";
now the sound text of Lucille is "Deep, even breaths, Lucille.";
now the handfeel of Lucille is "You clap your hands together to pump yourself up.";
try looking.

Chapter 5 - The Attic

Attic is a room. The description of the Attic is "The musty old attic where your husband lives. Well, ex-husband, if you have anything to say about it."

Dracula is a man in the Attic. "There's the lout now, looking positively bored. He yawns, showing his awful fangs."

Instead of looking in the Attic:
say "'It's the musty old attic where your husband lives. Well, ex-husband, if you have anything to say about it. 'Hello, Vlad,' you say with a grimace. 'You're as good looking as ever.[paragraph break]'Vell, vell, vell, if it isn't my vife, Lucille,' sneers Dracula. 'I vas vondering vhen you'd come back.'[paragraph break]'Cut the chit-chat, Dracula,' you snap back. 'We both know you hypnotized me into having amnesia so I'd never formally divorce you. Preying on your wife to get out of alimony payments! What a low blow.'[paragraph break]Dracula leers at you. 'So? Vhat are you going to do about it? I could easily just hypnotize you again, my dear.'[paragraph break]'Ah, but you're forgetting just one thing' you reply with a smile, holding up the stake. 'This time, I'm not just after divorce.'";
end the story finally saying "Vampire jerky, anyone?".

[Sadly, I am not able to get this ending sequence to work. You'll just have to imagine it.]

[And there you have it! Got a bit crunched for time, but in the end, it's a hell of a spooky house story!]